The moment I fell for someone

I felt silly.
and ridiculous.

Love at first sight always end up a dead end.
I hate this kind of feeling the most, when I think about that person, I feel embarrassed..
Cuz he lives in a different world than mine. His friends doesn't look like the kind that would accept me in their group.

"Hahaha.."
I laughed at myself, thinking that there is no way he would fall for someone like me.
Although everytime we bump into each other and he he said hi to me and all that, I had this delusions. It's stupid.
When I think about it again, ahh.. they are just MANNERS.

Manners to be polite with someone he just met.
But that manners caused someone like me to feel 'perasan' and think he probably likes me too.

"Idiot ! Idiot ! Idiot !"
I can't fall for him. I shouldn't.
He only see me as somebody else's friend and he just doesn't want to be rude.

I have turned down many guys before, honestly..
I have hurt some of them, I'm a ass,a jerk.
I couldn't even ask them to be friends only, cuz I know what they'll think.
They will get hurt more or have more advantage to make me fall for them if we become friends anyhow.

Not gonna happen.

Same goes to my class, I see everyone as brothers and sisters.
Like me, I can't accept them. I'm hard as a steel.
I want friendship, not a relationship.

My friends supported me into these things, a love life.
But I have no confidence at all.

ah whatever..

Love is ...


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